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We hope you will enjoy all the energies and blessings of the masters, temples, crystals, herbs and tools found on this site. If you like, you are always welcome to join us in meditation at our home in Maarssen. Our meditations are in the form of Dzogchen Buddhism and Satsangs / Darshans in silence.

If you are ready for it and do not mind to put your whole world upside down continue reading, otherwise enjoy all the images found on the tabs to your left and enjoy their blessings.

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1) When you meditate on "who am I?", you will find that all you can feel, experience and sense as you will dissolve and you will end in silence, emptiness and nothingness as you.

2) When you meditate on all emotions, densities in the body / mind / energy field, stresses - basically all karma, you will dissolve them in light and realize in the end you are light itself.

3) When you meditate on desires, wants and resistance (especially existential suffering) you will find love at its core and the first seperation from love brings you into existential suffering. When you meditate on love you will find yourself as the universe as love again.

In India step 1 is known as Sat, step 2 is known as Chid and step 3 is known as Ananda - SatChidAnanda - that which you truly are.

In Tibet step 1 is known as Dharmakaya, step 2 is known as Sambhogakaya and step 3 is known as Nirmanakaya - that which is your essence, nature and compassionate responsiveness.

All 3 steps are integrated in a process called kundalini awakening (Tummo in Tibetan language) and development. Basically the kundalini is the sexual energy moving up the spine and into the brain, reprogramming the brain and setting you free, moving you into service for the world and bliss will take you over step by step.

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In quantum physics it is irrevocably shown that the act of observing / measuring makes reality possible. Without observation, reality does not exist.

Yet who or what is consciously measuring? The eyes surely are not sentient yet do measure. But what in the end can prove that the measurement of the eyes cause reality? You are, but who are you? Awareness has no specific location in the brain yet seem to be the whole network itself. If the brain measures and makes reality possible, who or what caused the brain before this measurement? In other words before observation / measurement, there is NO brain.

In very deep meditation it is revealed that awareness, consciousness and even sentience are all activity in the mind / brain. You are not activity, that is happening outside of you.

It is not you that measures but you are what is being measured. The measurement itself causes duality making you belief you are separate from the world and the ego is born.

Lets look at these axioms more closely

Who am I ?

Who you think you are and who you feel you are is not who you truly are, it is an illusion created by the brain.

You are not thinking itself (in other words, you are not what you think). Thinking is separate from you otherwise you could not listen to the thoughts. Also most of "your" thought are not even yours as you have not created them. Just sit in silence for a couple of minutes not creating any thought and you will find all kinds of thoughts still happening.

You are also not who you feel you are because feeling is separate from you otherwise you could not feel. Both of these are happening outside of you and not as you. How can you feel pain if you are it?

You are also not the body or brain because when the body is dead or the brain dies, nothing has changed structurally, but you are no more. Nothing you can perceive, sense, think about or know is who you are. All these thing happen outside of you. If you were knowing itself, how would you know - there is no way to reflect.

You are also not the mind. The mind is defined as the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought. All these things happen outside of you.

There is also no such thing as a relationship. Who is having a relationship with what? With the mind? Just a collection of thoughts and experiences - can you have a relationship with that? With the brain, well that does not look so attractive when you see it. Well with the owner of the body / mind? Well who or what is the owner? Awareness?

So what about awareness, are you awareness ?

Awareness comes into existence when the brain is turned on, similar to turning on a computer and the operating system comes alive. Awareness is the ability to perceive and experience and nothing more. Without perceptions there is no such thing as awareness as can be easily observed in deep general anesthesia (medically induced coma) where even the sense of time has ceased. This awareness can change depending on what parts of the brain are turned on and how much (with the exception of the cerebellum, a part of the primitive brain that works without awareness). These different levels of awareness can be easily observed in deep sleep versus the awake state and the different states of altered awareness due to drugs.

So are you awareness? Awareness always has 2 parts, one being perceptions (be it time, sight, thought, hearing, smelling, basically all the signals travelling in the brain) and the other being the receiver. Now keep in mind that all these perceptions are not perceived as they are, but are in actual fact a digital translation of our organs from what they pick up from the outside world. So the receiver does not really perceive but is processing signals that makes it look like we are perceiving.

So what about the perceiver, are you the perceiver and what is it ?

The neurobiologist Roger Sperry discovered that one side of the brain wasn't aware of what the other side was seeing when the corpus callosum was damaged (a bundle of fibers connecting the left and right hemispheres of the brain). As you might already know, the right eye is connected to the left side of the brain and the left eye is connected to the right side of the brain.
In an experiment, patients could describe only images that reached the left side of the brain, because the ability to speak is located on that side. However, they seemed unaware of images that reached only the right side of the brain. Yet if they were asked to use their left hand (controlled by the right side of the brain) to indicate the image that had just been shown to the right side of the brain, they could do so. So on an unconscious level they had access to information that reached the right side. The left side of the brain then made up a story combining the information from both sides of the brain. The story was logical to the patients but completely incomprehensible to their surroundings.
When the right side of the brain registered a written instruction to stand up and walk away, a patient obeyed. When asked why he did so, he didn't say, "You just asked me to," because he hadn't consciously registered the instruction. So he made up a reason to explain his behavior: "I'm just going to get some hot chocolate."

Separating the brain does not split the perceiver in 2 but splits awareness in 2. This is a very important point. Same counts for schizophrenia, multiple personalities, but the perceiver is not the personality or that which he feels or thinks he is.

Are you just a product of the brain ?

Is the perceiver not just a mere product of the brain ?

Well in quantum physics it is irrevocably shown that the act of observing / measuring makes reality possible. Without observation, reality does not exist. If awareness is the act of observing / measuring (the 2 parts, observer and the observed) this would mean that the 2 are linked. In other words a digital code of the outside world running in the brain makes the outside world real. If you were just a product of the brain you would have no direct influence on the outside world.

So there is something deeper than a perceiver or observer that is not a product of the brain.

But if you shut down the brain, do you not also shutdown the perceiver ?

Perceiving and awareness on a deeper level of inquiry is a doingness in the brain and when this doingness also dissolves you end up with silence, emptiness and oneness without thought or anyone seeing. Who you are and what you perceive are one and the same thing - in other words who you are is the code running in the brain (so there is never any seeing really happening) which also implies you are the external code which also implies there is no real outside world but only code or information)

You are silence and light (code) itself and when the brain is turned off, light disappears as does time - and silence remains. You do not see light or sense light or do anything with it, you are not aware of it or are able to do anything with it. Yet without, you sentience is not possible.

You are the blackboard itself and the stuff written on it if there is anything written on it...

Blackboard (with Robert Adams)

You cannot say you are the blackboard (because that way it becomes something and will be exterior from who you are) but when you dive deep within yourself, you will end up with this blackboard as the only thing left - never changing and absolute. In deep sleep you reside as the blackboard with almost nothing on it. General anesthesia (a medically induced coma) goes even deeper, dissolving time, space and reality and only the pure you without any ability to reflect remains. Now the danger is that you make the blackboard into an object or a somethingness. This is not the case. It is you and nothing exterior from you that you can identify or hold on to!

The blackboard or TV screen is the first step in awareness, which is in essence the first step in duality. When you dissolve awareness you remain as everything without being anything, including awareness. You are light itself. But when you turn on the TV you quickly become convinced that the world you see is real and time and space are happening, not realizing there is only light on a screen.

Levels of Realizations (Awakenings):

Self-realization is not just one final level of realization as many books and people try to convey. It actually has many different levels of depth. Below a list of the different levels people can find themselves in.

Body / mind

This is what most people belief they are if you ask them for the first time the question: "who are you?"

Answers like their name, their job function or a loop such as I am myself are frequent answers. All answers are pointing to the body or mind, who the body is, what it does and what it has. I am a crippled man or I am a father for example. For those who go a bit deeper, answers like I am because I can think (identified with the mind) are common.

This is not a state of awakening or self-realization as the self has not been found yet. But it can be worse like in Schizophrenia or other mental disorders where the identification becomes completely illusionary, beyond the already illusionary body / mind identification.

Spiritual being

With self-inquiry there comes a point where you realize that all the things you can perceive is not who you really is. All the answers to the question "who are you" are exterior to who you really are, such as a feeling or thought or emotion or even knowledge.

Like the sun who tries to find out who he is by looking around himself and seeing the planets he gives light and saying I am that planet.

Out of body experiences and past life memories can trigger this realization as well.

Oneness / God realization

Realizing you are not the body or mind but a spiritual being, one can go deeper and inquire into who you really are as a spiritual being. All the answers to this question again dissolve and you find that this separate soul or spiritual being does not exist and you merge with the universe. You are everything.

Nirvana / Moksha

The realization that everything is I, the opposite of oneness and you are no more. The awareness arises that everything is who you are and when you fully experience yourself it dissolves in silence as well. You merge with the blackboard but anything written on the blackboard is also you. It is the end of the cycle of dying and rebirth and nobody dies and nobody is born. Time is who you are.

Enlightenment / Suddha Deham

Enlightenment has often been mixed with the first step of Self-realization, realizing you are the sun and not the planets. But if you look more carefully into the Bon tradition of Buddhism or Lord Murugan in the Tamil tradition you find that enlightenment goes a lot deeper.

Vallalar, a famous Tamil Saint who reached the highest level of realization / Awakening in 1874 described the “Principle of Light” as being the most effective way of producing Enlightenment (Suddha Deham).
This Principle has two important aspects: Compassion toward all the beings -paropakaram- and devotional Meditation -satvicharam-.
According to Vallalar, the first of these aspects was the most important; if is acquired, the Grace will come easily. God is present in all the beings and all the beings are in God. Cultivating the human compassion for all the beings can be achieved the God's Grace (divine Compassion), similarly to the way in which a spark becomes a radiant Light.
Likewise he taught that it was necessary to develop another aspect of the Principle of Light: the ardent Devotion to God. The key is constituted by the constant thought on God, begging for his Grace. Basically in God-realization there is still someone who can talk and perceive the world, even though knowing he is one with it. Continuing this merging deeper and deeper into Moksha and Suddha Deham means you dive into compassion and devotion, not as something exterior from you but as you.

In one of his poems he expresses that it is necessary to think incessantly on God, until one be melted / merged with the Divine Love. Then the crying happens unexpectedly and praises are sung to God, being produced in the disciple a smooth internal heat (kundalini). Without knowing this secret, the yogis have come carrying out ascetic practices with the only purpose of producing this heat (shuddi ushanam). When this universal Love and this sacred Heat are realized, body and soul are prepared for the descent of the Grace in the shape of Light. When this happens, the material body constituted of impure elements is transformed into a “Body of Pure Light” that emits a golden brightness - Enlightenment, Suddha Deham.

Ja lu phowa chenpo /
Gnana Deham
/ Rainbow Body

This divine light starts to change the body and starts to reverse the age and shrinks the body until the point where only light remains...

More info from Vallalar about Enlightenment and beyond here.

A deeper look into who you think you are...

This Ego program (who you think you are) shows up in awareness (operating system) as thought, creating the illusion that it is real and that it can do things, have things and be things. Yet all thought and perceptions are digitalized when it enters the brain so no smell, sight, sound, touch, taste or even thought travel through neurons, only the digital translation of it. So even if there was a real you floating around in your brain, there is nothing to "see" - only digital code.


Sheila Nirenberg, Cornell University - expert in the field of neural coding

Research has shown us that all these digitalized senses come together in a place called the angular gyrus, a section of the brain below the crown chakra, that produces a viewpoint. When this part of the brain gets damaged or lacks oxygen, you end up experiencing yourself floating outside the body (exteriorization, also known as out of body experience) and other viewpoint distortions - so nobody exteriorizes, it is just the brain computing differently.

Awareness on the other hand arises throughout the whole brain without any specific location and is extremely flexible - keep in mind that pure awareness is nothing more than pure perceiving. When neurologist Lionel Feuillet from Marseille received a 44 year old patient who was missing 90% of his brain he was amazed at the fact that this man was living a normal life - this shook up the medical world quite deeply. Also Brandon and Brittany Buell had an amazing story of their newborn child in 2014 that was missing most of his brain but otherwise functioned normal and even speaks nowadays. So this shows you the brain is also extremely flexible and re-programmable.
Earlier research from Luc van Loon from the Medical university in Maastricht already showed that the amount of muscle protein produced can potentially renew muscle cells within 6 to 8 weeks time. Well, in February 2018, he found that in the brain the generation of protein is 3 to 4 times higher then in muscles, potentially rewiring the entire brain at incredible speeds - this is just unbelievable. It was previously understood that neurons in the cerebral cortex, for example, are not replaced at all when they die, well this might be completely misunderstood. A product from among other strawberries called Fisetin for example has already been shown to produce new nerve cells in the hippocampus and a herb from Gabon called Iboga has been shown to create new brain cells in the dopamine center among other so there is much more to learn here. (Journal of Neurochemistry article from Sagara Y, Vanhnasy J and Maher P.)

So how does awareness look like if it is just a brain product, well take a look at a brain activity simulation below and you will meet yourself :


However this viewpoint or You is not real, it is just a computer / brain program. The moment when you hold onto the YOU feeling, you will see that it starts to dissolve and disappear. It is just a feeling and feeling is just a perception and perceiving / sensing is just awareness. The only thing happening here are thoughts and perceptions mixing around in awareness and when thought ceases, pure awareness and pure perceiving remains and the person is happy and joyful without reason. It is the identification of the mind with all the garbage in the brain that creates the illusion of an ego / a feeling of self / that in turn brings up all the misery and despair in one's life. In other words the moment thinking starts, the I is born and when thinking ceases, pure awareness remains.

Because awareness is just a brain product, it is the rewiring of the brain that produces the higher states of awareness. The less interference and programs there are messing with perceptions / thought the more clear you shine through.

One of the best and most effective methods of achieving nirvana is the Buddhistic meditation called Trekchod (similar to self-inquiry) and Togal (receiving darshans from the living and ascended masters) in combination with a powerful energy called the kundalini (basically raising the sexual energy into the brain and rewiring the brain with this energy), but as Jill Bolte showed, a brain stroke can bring you to nirvana as well, showing you that it is the rewiring of the brain that brings forth the state of nirvana.

Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight


Similar to Jill Bolte is the experiences of Lauren Marks aneurysm hitting the language center.

Here are some very interesting findings that can happen with the brain and awareness when things start to go wrong, showing you and proving that there is also no such thing as an individual SOUL or separate SPIRIT.

Lack of oxygen in the angular gyrus such as in near death experiences can create the idea of out of body experiences. Researchers have placed playing cards on top of cabinets in the rooms of patients in order to test whether people see the cards when they are ostensibly floating above their bodies. As you might expect, patients who felt they were leaving their bodies haven't been able to identify the cards. Even more interesting, one of Dick Swaab's phD students had an out of body experience when he was 34 years old where he saw himself lying on the ground and his wife was calling his name in panic. The interesting part here is that he could hear his wife's voice next to him, rather than below him. This clearly shows that exteriorization is a product of the brain, however real it may seem.

My own experience also shows that something was wrong with the idea of exteriorization and remote viewing. In 2000 I was experimenting a lot with leaving the body (exteriorization) and going to other places on the planet and even the solar system and beyond. This was mainly triggered by Scientology which me and my wife were into at the time (a long time ago :). I remember pushing people while being exterior and they later confirmed they felt something at that time so I was pretty convinced that all this was real. I also viewed the backside of the moon and saw all kinds of buildings that on internet I found other people saw as well.

First photo of the backside of the moon from moonlander Chang’e-4 (januari 2019) - yea no buildings :)

Then in 2004 something magical happened. I was introduced to a book called Silence of the heart (from Robert Adams) and in it, it explained in details the practice of self-inquiry. This practice in a nut shell was all about the simply question: "Who am I". Now I knew for sure who I was, I had many, many past life memories that were very vivid and real (I even verified it by going to London to see if my past life was correct, which it was.) Exteriorization was very real and in between lifes was also very real (I knew exactly when I picked up this body and dropped my last body in London etc etc.) similar to the findings of Michael Newton disclosed in his book called "Journey of Souls".
However in 2004 when I was in my bedroom and went exterior again, looking at my body from the corner of the room, I started doing self-inquiry - while exterior - and here the magic started. Within 20 to 30 minutes everything flipped inside out. Instead of me looking at the room and the body, I became the room and body without any viewpoint in it! The only thing there was the room with the body on the bed, no more me or viewpoint. Very similar to a dream where there is just the dreamworld without a you specifically in it.

This gave rise to the realization that there is only awareness and there is no such thing as a you or viewpoint or soul that can go exterior and do anything. This is what can be called pure oneness. You are that, you are experience itself, you are what is perceived, you are awareness itself. But this awareness is not separate from the body.

In February 2015 I had to go under general anesthesia and lost all awareness, including time. I had a couple of similar events before this called nirvikalpa samadhi (a deep state of meditation) where I suddenly lost 30 to 40 minutes in meditation with a cold body. In these states, there is no more awareness either, which clearly showed me that awareness is a product of the brain. Doing regression therapy and recalling the period of general anesthesia, I found the brain literally making up a story from the unconscious material in the brain while there was no awareness during that period.

Now I realize that the brain causes different levels of identifications / contractions in energy making you belief you are something and making it possible to identify with something as yourself - hence past life memories.

Research has already shown without a doubt that memory is actually stored in the the whole brain using the protein KIBRA (2016 research from Li Gan from the university of California) and that the hippocampus functions like a archivist, storing and recalling this memory.
I remember always having a big question mark with people like Henry Molaison, Clive Wearing and many others who after damage to their hippocampus only remember the last minute of their life and the rest is gone. But letting go of the idea that there is a soul that somehow stores the memory in an energy field around him was the only logical conclusion.

So I started to question the memories of past lifes and put it to the test. For sure they were real to me because all the emotions and pain I could feel were real, not imaginary. So I took two events that were extremely real to me. One was an event that took place 460 years ago in Florence where my wife slowly died in my arms due to an illness. This event was filled with grief and I must have been crying deeply for over 2 hours when I came in contact with it. After releasing all the grief and pain around the event I remember I was also released from the automatic response of always saying yes to any request from a women who was crying. So an obvious conclusion would be; this trauma was locked inside the body / mind / spirit for 460 years causing reactive behavior.

Another event took place about 9000 years ago in northern India where I was a teacher and also had a very nice Indian wife. When my wife died in that lifetime she did not acquire a new body but stayed with me in spiritual form (like a guide) and about 15 years ago I found this event and could finally give her the freedom to go and start a new life herself. This released me from a feeling of always having to look for my spiritual soulmate. So both events were influencing my whole life without me knowing where the influence came from until the moment of release.
So here comes the test. Which lifetime was longer ago (I used a sort of lie detector to see how the answer would read) To my amazement, the life 460 years ago was longer ago then the life of 9000 years ago. Then I tried it with many other examples and all were 50% correct and 50% incorrect. Something was wrong here.
I also researched some other people who could vividly remember their past lifes and what was really interesting is that many would describe a duplicate life, such as being mother Mary. I must have met at least 4 people who were absolutely convinced that they were mother Mary in a past incarnation. Something wrong here as well.
Then I found not only duplicate lifes myself but also double lifes, multiple bodies, multiple beings in the same body and the story became stranger and stranger.

How strange, well if you have the time take a look at a lecture from Dolores Cannon about the convoluted universe:

Also the time between body death and acquiring a new body did not seem to align with a constant truth. I was clearly influenced by what I was reading and who was giving me sessions and what kind of sessions. In the beginning it seemed that in between 2 lifes there was a kind of alien story and forceful implanting being done to force me back into a new body. This was heavily influenced by Scientology among other OT3 level. When I entered the spiritual world with teachers like Brandon Bays and other energy work, these in between life stories changed into angels and crystal domains and when I entered India with their rituals and mediations I saw Shiva and other Indian saints helping me in between death and life. Well I was initiated into Dzogchen Buddhism some time ago and guess what... so if I were going into deep hypnosis with Dolores Cannon I would most likely be visiting friendly aliens among other.

So if past lifes do not exist, where do the memories come from?

Here Access consciousness (techniques and processes to make someone more conscious) undoubtably showed me the answer that most of the mental garbage (such as past life trauma) creating reactive behavior (more then 99%) is not mine at all but from other people, past or present, that I was linked to. By simply asking the question: "who does this belong to" and return it to sender, it unlocked and disappeared.

This also showed me that most of my traumatic past life experiences were actually not mine at all but from my parents and their parents and their parents etc. The event in Florence I found was actually not mine but my great great great great... grandfather and was handed over to me genetically (or energetically linked via genetics) and mentally transferred from my mother during my first 9 month in the womb. Another very interesting fact was that releasing the trauma in myself would also release the trauma in many other people such as the rest of my family, meaning there is also a sort of quantum entanglement happening here.

Another interesting fact happened in 2007 when I was visiting Krishnaveni Amma in south India (a tiger reservation near Papanasam). To make a long story short, I was somehow connected to the animals in the area where Krishnaveni Amma was staying such that I felt the emotions of them all as me. I must have been crying for hours about a certain grief charge that certain monkeys from the area had that was going through me (and making me feel like it was me having these emotions) and felt incredibly relieved when it finally released. The really interesting part here was that I was feeling the grief and not feeling the emotion of something outside of me. Even more interesting, Krishnaveni Amma, who only spoke Tamil and I did not, knew what was going on and told me later via a translator that nature wanted to thank me for something I did without her knowing what happened to me!

With all this in mind, it became crystal clear to me that there was no such thing as reincarnation as we know it. All can be explained by the above. Even the Buddhistic enlightened children of past masters clearly showed me something was wrong. Just take a look at the argument of who is the new Karmapa, Ogyen Trinley Dorje or Trinley Thaye Dorje?

I have done research on some of the children of the Bwiti religion in Gabon Africa who, when looking into their eyes, where grand masters and avatars themselves, fully realized beings but not due to thousands of years of meditation and reincarnation, No, they only consume iboga, a psychoactive root from the Tabernanthe Iboga, rewiring their brains into full realization !

But what about memories in near death experiences and deep general anesthesia when there is no brain activity ?

Another really interesting study came from Romanian doctors who noticed odd EEG brain activity in a patient who had lapsed into a coma while under the influence of anti-seizure medication. Researchers at the University de Montreal looked into this and put 26 cats under deep anesthesia (cats have 9 lifes :) and recorded their brain activity in the upper cortical regions and hippocampus (deep inside the brain). In all of the cats, a previously undocumented “ripple event (activity - silence - activity -silence...)” was evident in the hippocampus after EEG read-outs went “flat,” indicating a silenced cortex. The results appeared to replicate what had been seen in the human patient from the Romanian doctors.

As was previously understood, once a brain goes flat line, a person would be considered brain dead and could not have any experiences during that time. But with these new findings from the Montreal team, it seems the brain is not dead at all after flat-line and is still able to produce awareness and experience. Compare this to a blood sample. The blood is not in your body anymore but remains alive for many days. Peter Noble from the University of Washington clearly showed that certain genes in the human body are actually more alive days after body death then when the body was still alive. He also found that stem cells in the body are still alive 17 days after body death.

Another interesting finding is that the pineal gland (the place where the I thought originates) produces massive amounts of DMT prior to death. Now DMT is a strong hallucinogenic substance also found in Ayahuasca (to be more precise, in Psychotria viridis, Psychotria carthagenensis, or Diplopterys cabrerana - The Ayahuasca is actually an inhibitor that inhibits the breakdown of DMT by enzymes called deamination.)
DMT breaks down the identifications in the brain and releases stress and can induce a state or feeling that he or she is able to “communicate with other intelligent-life forms" and commune with religious entities, humanoid as well as animal form, and even interact with alien life forms. High doses of DMT produce a hallucinatory state that involves sense of “another intelligence” that people sometimes describe as “super-intelligent”, but “emotionally detached”.

A famous book written by Dr. Eben Alexander (a neurosurgeon) called "proof of heaven" is a great example of this, however he himself tries to proof that his DMT trip was all very real and not at all hallucinatory - showing you how real these experiences seem to a person. Dr. Eben Alexander entered into meningitis-induced coma with no higher brain activity (actually the doctor who treated him said he medically induced the coma, but that is besides the point) and journeyed beyond this world and encountered an angelic being who guided him into the deepest realms of super-physical existence. There he met, and spoke with, the Divine source of the universe itself.

In other words, all of this takes place inside the brain and is produced by the brain! All experiences happen outside of you, even in this deep state, meaning you have not realized who you truly are yet.

The tunnel with light that is often seen in near death experiences is another interesting phenomena that is also experienced by fighter pilots when pulling excessive G forces. It seems that when blood flow decreases in the eyes (like when the heart stops beating), a tunnel vision, with light at the end of the tunnel, appears in the brain. Again not something mystical but a mere effect of low blood flow (along with a DMT rush creating visions at the end of the tunnel creating beautiful stories contained in many books).

But still there are stories of very young children who even remember their past life parents name but have no connection with them in this life - how do they remember?

Other really interesting research on similar subjects can be found with Susan Blackmore, Daniel Dennett, David Yaden and our own Dutch researcher, Heleen Slagter.

If you really go deep within and I mean really deep, you will find that you are time itself and that time does not effect you.. Without you, there is no time and there is no world and there is no such thing as continuity or holding on to something or even relationships (all based on time effecting you) - these are illusions. Just like a black hole (inside the event horizon) making time disappear, if you dive deep within yourself time will disappear as well (nirvikalpa samadhi).

I like to take it even one step further as to say that it is not so much that there is no such thing as a "you" BUT everything including time, form, life, energy, space, thought and anything that can be experienced or perceived is not real and only YOU are. One of the best comparisons is seen in the series Black mirror, episode "San Junipero" - a must see:

Can you artificially produce awareness ?

If awareness is a brain product, it is mechanical and you should be able to artificially duplicate consciousness ...
Well, it is already done:

Just take a look at google photo:

Or even more fun, help googles neural network by engaging in quick draw:

Here google's deep mind neural network is actually understanding the image and not just working with the name of the file. In google photo the Artificial Neural Network (ANN) can find people and things in your photo collection. If you ask to find all the photo's containing a cat, it will do so even if it is just a tail. It actually "sees" the images.

Take a look at the images below from Google's deep dream Artificial Neural Network (ANN). It almost seems like Google's deep dream is on a DMT trip (actually consciously dreaming). In this example below the ANN is given a static white noise image and is asked to look for life forms:

Static white noise

Google's deep dream ANN findings

Well is the same happening in our brains? Is consciousness nothing more then computational understanding of the neural code entering the brain with another program making you belief - You - can actually see them?

Stop sleeping for a week and hallucinations will mix with reality and you will not know what is real and not anymore (just watch fightclub to get an idea of this).

What about sentience and phenomenological consciousness ?

Sentience is the capacity to feel, perceive, or experience subjectively, something an ANN cannot do. Phenomenological consciousness refers to you undergoing an experience like when you are consciously perceiving the world or for example feeling sad, thirst, pain etc. ANN's cannot do this.

Why is it impossible for an ANN to become sentient of an object but for us it is second nature ?

Well in deep meditation when there is no more sense of self (no more -You - program) sentience remains in the form of pure experience in an ocean of silence like a wave flowing on top of the ocean. Without the ocean, there is no experience and obviously without the experience there is no sentience.

The ocean is actually the blackboard and the waves or experiences are actually what is drawn on the blackboard. Without the blackboard it is not possible to have sentience. Whatever you draw on the blackboard is the object of sentience.

Another analogy is fuel in an engine. Without fuel the engine will not run but without the engine fuel has no meaning. Experience is the fuel for the blackboard making sentience possible. Without the blackboard, experience has no meaning.

It is the true self, who you really are, the emptiness and silence, that feels and is sentient and can experience subjectively.

In an ANN experience has no meaning.

On the subject of meditation, specifically self-inquiry, you find that there is no such thing as an I or you and when you go deeper you also find that there is no such thing as a self or beingness or I am and yet even deeper you also find that there is no such thing as awareness, existence and life. Even space and time are illusions. This is the awakening process where all the veils of illusions drop and silence and truth remains (the blackboard remains).

When this silence and truth settle as the main foundation the reverse starts to happen where you realize you are not the self but the self emerges out of you as does all of existence. Everything emerges out of you, but the opposite is also true where the whole world takes place inside you.

Well what about quantum neural networks QNN ?

It seems the brain is not just a set of wires creating a neural network but also taps into the power of quantum computing. Prof. Matthew Fisher from Santa Barbara is spearheading this research showing you that room temperature calcium phosphates (apatite crystals) can produce quantum states in the human brain.

In quantum physics it has been irrefutably shown that materialism does not exist without you. Without an observer (I like to go a step deeper and say without sentience) existence does not exist. Take a look at the below video on the strange behavior of quantum physics:


Is the moon there when nobody looks?

This was the question Albert Einstein asked Abraham Pais during a walk regarding quantum theory and the nature of reality.

Einstein was convinced that there were good philosophical grounds for local realism, and he considered it a foundational principle of science. After his death, however, it was shown that local realism, as he described it in his famous EPR paper, is not compatible with the predictions of quantum mechanics, or with physical experiments. If he had lived to see them, it would be fascinating to know how Einstein would have modified his views in light of these results.

Out of all this uncertainty in Quantum Mechanics (QM) came the philosophy known as the Copenhagen school (after the great Dane, Niels Bohr) which states, to put it simply, that nothing happens until someone looks. If all we have in QM are mathematical probabilities that such-and-such will be observed, then until the observation is made, we can only talk about probabilities. As to reality, we must give up hope of understanding it. This was too much for Einstein and Schrödinger to swallow. Can it be that nothing really happens, that there are only probabilities, until someone looks? As Einstein lampooned, “Is the moon only there when we look at it?”

Also John von Neumann concluded that eventually it is you as the conscious observer making reality.

Let's look at this more deeply and see how strange it gets.

To go back to the moon, you never really see the moon, only the light of the sun bouncing off the moon and into your eyes to be translated into a digital code when it enters the optical nerve and eventually into the brain and the collapse of the wave function (making local reality) happens when the measurement of light happens in the eye (reception and translation into code) but there is no sentience happening inside the eye or in the optical nerve. Sentience happens way deeper in the brain, way AFTER the initial measurement of light. This would mean that it is not measurement but sentience that collapses the wave function.

With the Schrödinger's cat thought experiment, just replace the cat with a human being and you will get the same results. Only sentience inside or outside the box produces local reality and is only subjective as this experiment shows.

So what is measurement?
In quantum mechanics, measurement MUST mean sentience when looking at the above 2 points.

Lets look at this even deeper.

1) When you are dreaming, you also "see" but it will do nothing to local realism even though the optic nerve is active (as seen in Rapid eye Movement REM sleep). But while in the dream, for you local realism happens, be it on a different level. So the wave function did collapse.

2) Hallucinations are real for the person who is awake (he observes them) but does not create local realism, plus it means that what is being observed can be influenced by chemicals in the brain. Hypnotism goes even further, making people see things and sense them like eating a lemon while there is no lemon. Again local realism has happened but is not the general realism of everyone.

3) If someone is born blind, they do not dream visually like we do, yet local reality remains for them in the form of other senses.

4) If a spiritual being would exist it would not absorb light or measure it by any means like the brain does. So how would a spiritual being know or see a photon? If you say it goes through him, well through what? If you say he absorbs it, with what and how does seeing happen? And this what, how can it reflect? All the answers will lead you to things outside of you and again is not who you are.

5) If the brain "sees" the same problem comes up as in point 4. If the seer is an illusion, only digital code remains and nothing would "see" it. But this is not the case. Even in the deepest meditation where you are everything - you cannot say only digital code remains as you because there is seeing, even if seeing and being are one and the same.
When you are what you see, you cannot see it. If you are a table, who sees it? The table has no eyes. If you are the digital code of a table flowing in the brain, who sees it? The digital code has no eyes !

So what can we learn from these points ?

Wakefulness entails forebrain activation for its expression, but a neuropeptide called orexin seems to be the critical component regulating sleep and wakefulness. For a deeper understanding click here. But how can a neuropeptide cause wakefulness when thereality of the neuropeptide is caused by a measurement that must happen in wakefulness???

Quantum physics shows us that measurement makes reality, so also makes orexin. But for measurement to take place you first need an awake brain...

To make it easier, the same question arises with eyes or brains. Observation makes local realism, so also makes eyes and brains possible, but without eyes or brains, no observation can take place???

It can only happen when seeing is an external event and not part of the brain.

The opposite is also strange. When you use propofol, etomidate or ketamine, the brain shuts down and no more observation is possible. But observing makes reality, but the moment propofol is observed, observation ceases??? So when no more propofol is measured in the brain, the brain wakes up again and regains the ability to measure ???

Again it can only happen when observing is an external event and not part of the brain.

But as said earlier, you never really see the objects in the first place, only the light reflection of it. So what about local realism, does it actually exist?

If you look at a black hole (A big one can contain almost 20% of the mass of the whole milkyway galaxy) it is compressed into a single dot of no dimension (schwarzschild black hole), basically nothingness. Also without observation particles do not existl. What is reality if it can all be compressed into nothingness and if it is not compressed it does not exist if not observed?

Also everything observed is just a digital code running in the brain. Nothing is directly observed. A digital code of the moon is not the moon ! Just like a digital camera recording the moon has nothing more real inside than ones and zeros. Is there any way to prove local realism without using this brain code ? John von Neumann has looked deep into this and concluded that there is always a final observer / sentient being making reality. Reading/seeing digital code is not the same as directly observing the outside world. So what if everything is just a digital code, like a computer game?

Another interesting question is, can you be sentient of a brain code? If you see the color red, you experience red. Even if you were blind your whole life and suddenly due to a new procedure you were able to see again, you still see red without prior knowledge. There is no way to prove that the way you see and experience red is the same for everyone. A computer will never "see" red. Sentience means YOU can sense and experience reality. BUT you are not sentient of red because there is only a brain code and even worse, there is also no YOU.

With all this in mind it seems inevitable to conclude that something is wrong with local realism. What if both dream, wakefullness and hallucinations are all not real, just a play of light - or digital code. When there is no such thing as local realism it also means there is no such thing as an outside or inside world !

This might become a bit eerie to know that the world as we know it is just like Black mirror, episode "San Junipero"

But who are you in this Black Mirror episode?

In very deep meditation it is revealed that awareness, consciousness and even sentience are all activity in the mind / brain. You are not activity, that is happening outside of you.

It is not you that measures but you are what is being measured by the brain.
The measurement itself causes duality making you belief you are separate from the world and the ego is born. You are the blackboard and the movie playing on it, and the brain is part of the movie observing the movie as you.

So you are the black mirror episode itself and the illusion is that there are multiple brains observing making the illusion reality.

-- -- --

In 2018 LiveScience reported that scientists have succeeded in nurturing the growth of blood vessels in minibrains that were developed from human stem cells, and they grew both the minibrain and the blood vessels from stem cells that originated from the same patient, according to a new study. Will this be the first step into artificial sentience when you hook this lab grown brain into a computer system or QNN with inputs and outputs? This is a scary thought...

For further information on what a quantum computer can do please refer to D-wave quantum computing company (a system that google is trying out now as well for it's QNN's).

-- -- --

So what is life and what is the source of awareness ?

Life is a set of biological interrelated activities (chemical interactions) that interact to achieve a result, such as survival. This biological process can also be synthesized in a lab such as artificial but living bacteria from Craig Venter's lab, showing that DNA can be booted up (by giving it an electrical shock) just like turning on a computer to start and support life.

Syn 3.0

On March 25, 2016 Venter reported the creation of Syn 3.0, a synthetic genome having the fewest genes of any freely living organism (in other words, the smallest life form on earth, having 473 genes). Their aim was to strip away all nonessential genes, leaving only the minimal set necessary to support life and by doing so finding the key elements in the genes that make life possible.

DNA is basically the software that builds and runs the organism, making it alive and making it survive.

In other words, Life is a program stored in a set of genes that runs the cell. It interacts with the environment using transcriptional regulations.

In molecular biology and genetics, transcriptional regulation is the means by which a cell regulates the conversion of DNA to RNA (transcription), thereby orchestrating gene activity. This control allows the cell or organism to respond to a variety of intra- and extracellular signals and thus mount a response.

For a deeper understanding of this click here

But Syn 3.0 and other single celled creatures are not aware of themselves. It seems you need a brain for that. It is difficult to prove if a single celled creature is sentient, but from looking at how it lives it seems to me it is sentient, in essence meaning the true you is also moving through every other living creature, even a single celled one.

But where does self-awareness start - or in other words, where does the blackboard show up?

In 2015, Marie-Claire Cammaerts and Roger Cammaerts published an article in the Journal of Science that suggests some ants can recognize themselves when looking in a mirror. When viewing other ants through glass, ants didn’t divert from their normal behaviors. However, their behavior did change when they were put in front of a mirror. The ants would move slowly, turn their heads back and forth, shake their antennae, and touch the mirror. They’d retreat and re-approach the mirror. Sometimes they would groom themselves.

The ants were next given a classic mirror test. The team of researchers would use blue dots to mark the clypeus of some of the ants, which is a part of their face near their mouths. When in an environment without mirrors, these ants would behave normally, and wouldn’t touch the markings. But this changed when they could see their reflections in a mirror. The ants with blue dots on their face would groom and appear to try to remove the markings.

This experiment shows ants have the ability to reflect - that which is happening on a black board and indicates self-awareness. Also this would suggest sentience however cannot be verified.

With machine learning you can also make life-forms that look and behave really alive, but that is not the same as self-awareness - because there is no such thing as sentience or reflecting happening.


KITECH robot fish

So lets look at some of the facts. The brain of an ant has about 250.000 neurons, that is about a million times less than we have and about the same amount of transistors as in an old Intel 80386 processor from 1985 (without counting memory and RAM which is included in the ant)

Looking at this one must come to the same conclusion as I have that there is more going on in sentience than mere neuron activity. If we duplicate the ants neural network we are not even close to producing sentience - so technology has not figured out how to connect the true you (the allground) to a system - and yes I agree this sounds really creepy if we ever do figure this out.

The missing link is YOU, the blackboard in all this research.

For sentience to show up you do need a fully functioning brain and nerve system, or not ?

If all is illusion, like in the matrix, why the need for nerves and brain cells in the first place.

Ashlyn Blocker

Teenager Ashlyn Blocker, who lives with her parents in the US town of Patterson, Georgia, feels no pain and is one of a small number of people in the world who have been diagnosed with congenital insensitivity to pain.

Scientists studying this condition in 11 affected families in Europe and Asia have now identified mutations in a gene called PRDM12 that was already known to be involved in activating genetic switches (switching genes on and off). The tests revealed that Ashlyn had inherited two defective copies of the SCN9A gene which is a gene that belongs to a family of genes that provide instructions for making sodium channels that play a key role in a cell's ability to generate and transmit electrical signals involved in the transmission of nerve impulses in pain-sensing neurons (Nociceptors).

A nociceptor is a type of receptor at the end of a sensory neuron's axon that responds to damaging or potentially damaging stimuli by sending danger signals to the spinal cord and the brain.

The peripheral terminal of the mature nociceptor is where the noxious stimuli (an actually or potentially tissue damaging event) are detected and transduced into electrical energy. When the electrical energy reaches a threshold value, an action potential is induced and driven towards the central nervous system (CNS). This leads to the train of events that allows for the conscious awareness of pain.

When there are no signals being send into the brain there is no awareness! Hence sentience happens in the brain.

So where does the sentience of pain start ?

It is happening inside, in the Somatosensory area of the brain as is found on PET scans among other.

Somatosensory area

However sentience (and awareness in general) cannot be pinpointed as something and seems to have no specific location.

This would conclude that you do need a nervous system for sentience, but as shown earlier, in quantum physics, sentience must come first otherwise there is no brain. Observation makes local reality.

Nerves and Brain cells are NOT required for awareness, intelligence and sentience (black board):

There are about 200 types of slime molds (like Physarum Polycephalum) that have no brain cells nor do they have any nerves but are able to sense and solve puzzles like in the image below and can transfer (communicate) their knowledge to other slime molds without any neural connection. Only blood vein type channels are made to sense poisons, solving puzzles and transferring information. Well, knowing that these types of molds existed almost 1 billion years ago, way before the first life-form ever produced a nerve cell or brain, makes the theory that you need a brain for sentience and intelligence not true. How amazing is that !

Slime mold (left top) searching through a maze to find food (right bottom)

From deep meditative research I already found that it is you, the emptiness, connecting to the brain and making sentience possible. If there is no brain, no sentience and if there is no you (as the black board or silence) there is also no sentience.

But with the added info from the slime molds I came to the conclusion that you also do not need a brain at all to be sentient and like a tree, life flows through everything.

Who you really are does not even need to be connected to a brain and be forced to experience all that comes.
Ramana Maharshi, who has completely dissolved the sense of I / awareness in meditation and underwent surgery to remove cancer without Anesthesia or any other kind of pain killer but it did not bother him.

" Towards the end of 1948 a small nodule appeared below the elbow of Ramana's left arm. As it grew in size, the doctor in charge of the Ashram dispensary cut it out. But in a month’s time it reappeared. Surgeons from Madras were called, and they operated. The wound did not heal, and the tumour came again. On further examination it was diagnosed that the affliction was a case of osteosarcoma, an extremely painful form of bone cancer. The doctors suggested amputating the arm above the affected part. Ramana replied with a smile: “There is no need for alarm. The body is itself a disease. Let it have its natural end. Why mutilate it? Simple dressing of the affected part will do.” Two more operations had to be performed, but the tumour appeared again. Indigenous systems of medicine were tried, and homeopathy too. The disease did not yield to treatment. The sage was quite unconcerned and was supremely indifferent to suffering. He sat as a spectator watching the disease waste the body. But his eyes shone as bright as ever and his grace continued to flow towards all beings. Crowds came in large numbers. Ramana insisted that they should be allowed to have his darshan. Devotees profoundly wished that the sage should cure his body through an exercise of supernormal powers. Some of them imagined that they themselves had had the benefit of these powers which they attributed to Ramana. Ramana had compassion for those who grieved over the suffering, and he sought to comfort them by reminding them of the truth that Bhagavan was not the body: “They take this body for Bhagavan and attribute suffering to him. What a pity! They are despondent that Bhagavan is going to leave them and go away – where can he go, and how?”

What about life energy ?

Life energy and awareness is one and the same thing. Reiki, kundalini, Qigong and all other spiritual energies are a form of this life energy. Life energy in physiology is called an action potential and is a short-lasting event in which the electrical membrane potential of a neuron cell rapidly rises and falls, following a consistent trajectory to provide cell-to-cell communication. A neuron that emits an action potential is often said to "fire" :

Action Potential in a neuron (life energy)

When large numbers of neurons synchronize their "fire", it will give rise to neural oscillations, otherwise called brainwaves. This can be measured using EEG.

Lambda 200 Hz and up Unconditional loving-kindness and compassion - enlightened state.
Gamma 27 Hz and up This is associated with the formation of ideas, language and memory processing, and various types of learning.
Beta 12hz - 27hz This is generally the mental state most people are in during the day and most of their waking lives.
Alpha 8hz - 12hz Awake but relaxed and not processing much information. When you get up in the morning and just before sleep, you are naturally in this state. When you close your eyes your brain automatically starts producing more alpha waves.
Theta 3hz - 8hz Light sleep or extreme relaxation. Theta is also a very receptive mental state that has proven useful for hypnotherapy, as well as self-hypnosis using recorded affirmations and suggestions.
Delta 0.2hz - 3hz Deep, dreamless sleep and the body is healing itself and "resetting" its internal clocks.
Epsilon 0.5hz and below Epsilon waves have been found in extremely deep states of meditation. They are connected with a feeling of complete bliss and compassion. If a meditator reaches the epsilon brain wave state of mind one can experience extreme spiritual and personal insight and inspiration.

Upper Gamma and Epsilon waves seem to be connected and give rise to the highest and strongest healing and spiritual energies in the world. One of the highest and most powerful upper Gamma waves ever detected was on Matthieu Ricard, a french Buddhistic monk known as the most happy man in the world:

Research of consciousness trainer Judith Pennington also revealed some very interesting relationships on reiki masters and their brainwaves:

Rens Hendriks (Our spiritual teacher (SatGuru) from the Netherlands since 2002)

Not that long ago Rens Hendriks accepted a medical team to measure his brain activity during a satsang (healing) session. To their amazement his brain activity was absolute zero (below Epsilon), something not possible except in deep coma. In this state the blackboard / Sat has the most direct way of helping another dissolve his or her identifications into silence.

But brainwaves and life energy is not only isolated to the brain. About 1% of the total neurons you have is located in your guts (hence the importance of a good gut flora), all connected to the brain and many more in your heart and other places around your body. And not only that, research has shown that even slime molds form oscillations where there is no neural network available - meaning that also in our body, cell by cell energy transmission is possible. Just see how a plant senses the sun direction and adjust its growth towards the sun.

The best and most effective way to have the whole neural network fire in sync is to awaken the kundalini. Kundalini is the sexual energy moving up the spine and entering the brain, basically performing brain surgery to remove all energetic blockages to allow the whole neural network to work in sync. Darshans, Drishti, shaktipath, tantra and many other methods have been used in the past to accomplish this with the ultimate goal of enlightenment and beyond where the whole body starts to radiate visible light and eventually dissolve into light - otherwise called the rainbow body of great transference (ja lus powa chenpo)

Kundalini image showing the vagus nerve as the 2 snakes (ida and pingala) and the spinal cord as the center pillar and the wings being the awakened brain.

With the latest research (Luc van Loon, Lionel Feuillet and Sagara Y) showing you the brain is extremely flexible and renewable and with the powerful energy called the kundalini it can be understood that the whole body can be transformed into a spiritual vehicle until the point where the energy is so strong that it actually dissolves structure.

Life energy dissolving the physical body

Ramalinga Vallalar is one of the few who not only went through these stages but also clearly documented each step on the way to full enlightenment. It is all written down is a book called Thiru Arutpa that basically disclosed 3 clear stages being Sudha Degam, where the body stops aging and actually reverses in age, Pranava Degam - where light is shining through the body and the body does not even cast a shadow anymore on the ground and Gnana degam - the complete dissolvement of the body into light.

A more detailed explanation about this dislodgement into light can be found on the rainbow body page.

Lama Achuck in the first stages of pranava Degam (photo taken in 2010)

Satsang, Dzogchen and self-inquiry are all methods to dissolve the ego back into this silent state where it came from and give way for the Sat to enter and flow through the body (called kundalini awakening in India and Tummo in Tibet).

Darshan, Drishti and shaktipath / sivapath are the 3 Buddha dimensions tools to awaken and develop the kundalini and burning the ego and karma on its way. The emptiness you see in the pictures of Buddhists and Hindu saints (the emptiness inside the rings around their body) is the blackboard or Sat that remains. The flames indicate the kundalini that is burning the mental identifications away in a blissful fire.

Shiva (Hinduism)

Labdron (Buddhism)

Tirthankara (Jainism)

This is what true Enlightenment entails

You are light itself

You are silence itself

You are compassion itself

In this state you have merged with everything

There is no creation, no destruction and no time outside of you nor inside

There is nothing outside of you and there is nothing inside of you

All is you, all is silence, all is light

In this state there is no more hope, no more desires

In this state there is no more fear, no more meaning

In this state You are finally home...


Our example:

Ramalinga Vallalar
(click here for more info about Vallalar)
Who attained the highest state of realization called the Rainbow body of great transference in the first month of 1875 in Tamil Nadu, south India.

Our Teachers:

Amma & Bhagavan

Bhagavan in a small group meeting in the oneness temple back in 2009 in south India pointed to me and said it is time for me to start giving satsangs as the first westerner from the oneness university. It was accompanied with an oneness video that went online and before I knew it many people started emailing us when we would give our first satsang.

Dzogchen Tsoknyi Rinpoche who initiated me into Dzogchen Buddhism
(Mingyur Yeshe became my Buddhistic name)

Our satsangs / darshans / Dzogchen meditation and Drishti's are in silence, no talking or teachings and are for free. Everyone is welcome to join but understand you will not be joining a group or movement as we belief absolute freedom is an individual path free from dependency and you should use all the tools available but always remain free from them.

We hope we can spread this joy and freedom to anyone we come in contact with...


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