Satsang & Darshan


Living masters

Maha Samadhi's

Jeeva Samadhi's

18 Siddhars

Rainbow body







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You do not exist. There is only pure awareness, a program running in the brain.

The simple fact is that you, the sense of Self as a separate entity, do not exist, it only seems like it does. It is like a computer program that beliefs it receives thought and perceptions and exists, while the program itself is nothing, only one's and zero's.

In truth there is nothing real about you. You are not the body (you only identify yourself with it - this is my body), you are not the mind or brain (if this were to be true than stop thinking for 2 minutes) and you are not the soul or spirit (explained later). You are also not an infinite being separate from the body nor are you able to merge or dissolve into the divine. You are simply a product of the brain called awareness similar to an operating system (like windows or MacOS) that comes alive when you turn on the computer.

Awareness is the ability to perceive and nothing more ! Without perceptions there is no such thing as awareness as can be easily observed in deep general anesthesia where even the sense of time has ceased. This awareness arises when the brain is turned on and the more the brain is turned on, the higher the awareness (with the exception of the cerebellum, a part of the primitive brain that works without awareness). However there is another program on top of awareness that beliefs it receives thought and perceptions and exists. This program is called the Ego or simply the You.

This Ego program shows up in awareness (operating system) as thought, creating the illusion that it is real and that it can do things, have things and be things. Yet all thought and perceptions are digitalized when it enters the brain so no smell, sight, sound, touch or taste and even thought travel through neurons, only the digital translation of it. So even if there was a real you floating around in your brain, there is nothing to "see" - only digital code.


Sheila Nirenberg, Cornell University - expert in the field of neural coding

Research has shown us that all these digitalized senses come together in a place called the angular gyrus, a section of the brain below the crown chakra, that produces a viewpoint. When this part of the brain gets damaged or lacks oxygen, you end up with exteriorization (out of body experience) and other viewpoint distortions.

However this viewpoint or You is not real, it is just a computer / brain program. The moment when you try to find this you, you will see that it does not exist, just like trying to find the blue in the sky. The only thing happening here are thoughts and perceptions mixing around in awareness and when thought ceases, pure awareness and pure perceiving remains and the person is happy and joyful without reason. It is the identification of the mind with all the garbage in the brain that creates the illusion of an ego / a feeling of self / that in turn brings up all the misery and despair in one's life. In other words the moment thinking starts, the I is born and when thinking ceases, pure awareness remains.

Enlightenment is the permanent state of awareness without thinking. It is a state without an ego or sense of I, where perceiving and awareness are one and the same.

The best and most effective method of achieving enlightenment is the Buddhistic meditation called Trekchod (similar to self-inquiry) and Togal in combination with a powerful energy called the kundalini (basically raising the sexual energy into the brain), but as Jill Bolte showed, a brain stroke can bring you to full enlightenment as well, showing you that it is the rewiring of the brain that brings forth the state of enlightenment.

Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight

Here are some very interesting findings that can happen with the brain and awareness when things go wrong, showing you that you do not exist as a separate entity or being (such as a soul or spirit) and that awareness is just a brain product:

The neurobiologist Roger Sperry discovered that one side of the brain wasn't aware of what the other side was seeing when the corpus callosum was damaged (a bundle of fibers connecting the left and right hemispheres of the brain). In an experiment, patients could describe only images that reached the left side of the brain, because the ability to speak is located on that side. However, they seemed unaware of images that reached only the right side of the brain. Yet if they were asked to use their left hand (controlled by the right side of the brain) to indicate the image that had just been shown to the right side of the brain, they could do so. So on an unconscious level they had access to information that reached the right side. The left side of the brain then made up a story combining the information from both sides of the brain. The story was logical to the patients but completely incomprehensible to their surroundings.
When the right side of the brain registered a written instruction to stand up and walk away, a patient obeyed. When asked why he did so, he didn't say, "You just asked me to," because he hadn't consciously registered the instruction. So he made up a reason to explain his behavior: "I'm just going to get some hot chocolate."

If you were a soul or spirit inhabiting the body, separating the left and right hemisphere of the brain would make no difference in your awareness - but it does!

Lack of oxygen in the angular gyrus such as in near death experiences can create the idea of out of body experiences. Researchers have placed playing cards on top of cabinets in the rooms of patients in order to test whether people see the cards when they are ostensibly floating above their bodies. As you might expect, patients who felt they were leaving their bodies haven't been able to identify the cards. Even more interesting, one of Dick Swaab's phD students had an out of body experience when he was 34 years old where he saw himself lying on the ground and his wife was calling his name in panic. The interesting part here is that he could hear his wife's voice next to him, rather than below him. This clearly shows that exteriorization is a product of the brain.

My own experience also shows that something is wrong with the idea of exteriorization and remote viewing. In 2000 I was experimenting a lot with leaving the body (exteriorization) and going to other places on the planet and even the solar system and beyond. I remember pushing people while being exterior and they later confirmed they felt something at that time so I was pretty convinced that this all was real. I also viewed the backside of the moon and saw all kinds of buildings that on internet I found other people saw as well.

Then in 2004 something magical happened. I was introduced to a book called Silence of the heart (from Robert Adams) and in it, it explained in details the practice of self-inquiry. This practice in a nut shell is all about the simply question: "Who am I". Now I knew for sure who I was, I had many, many past life memories that were very vivid and real (I even verified it by going to London to see if my past life was correct, which it was.) Exteriorization was very real and in between lifes was also very real (I knew exactly when I picked up this body and dropped my last body in London etc etc.) However in 2004 when I was in my bedroom and went exterior again, looking at my body from the corner of the room, I started doing self-inquiry - while exterior - and here the magic started. Within 20 to 30 minutes everything flipped inside out. Instead of me looking at the room and the body, I became the room and body without any viewpoint in it! The only thing there was, was the room with the body on the bed, no more me or viewpoint. Very similar to a dream where there is just the dreamworld without a you specifically in it.

This gave rise to the realization that there is only awareness and there is no such thing as a you or viewpoint or soul that can go exterior and do anything. This is what can be called pure oneness. You are that, you are experience itself, you are what is perceived, you are awareness itself. But this awareness is not separate from the body.

In February 2015 I had to go under general anesthesia and lost all awareness, including time. I had a couple of similar events before this called nirvikalpa samadhi (a deep state of meditation) where I suddenly lost 30 to 40 minutes in meditation with a cold body. In these states, there is no more awareness either, which clearly showed me that awareness is a product of the brain. Doing regression therapy and recalling the period of general anesthesia, I found the brain literally making up a story from the unconscious material in the brain while there was no awareness during that period.

So if there is no such thing as a soul or spirit that means past life memories, however real, have another explanation.

Research has already shown without a doubt that memory is actually stored in the the whole brain using the protein KIBRA (2016 research from Li Gan from the university of California) and that the hippocampus functions like a archivist, storing and recalling this memory.
I remember always having a big question mark with people like Henry Molaison, Clive Wearing and many others who after damage to their hippocampus only remember the last minute of their life and the rest is gone. But letting go of the idea that there is a spirit that somehow stores the memory in an energy field around him was the only logical conclusion.

So I started to question the memories of past lifes and put it to the test. For sure they were real to me because all the emotions and pain I could feel were real, not imaginary. So I took two events that were extremely real to me. One was an event that took place 460 years ago in Florence where my wife slowly died in my arms due to an illness. This event was filled with grief and I must have been crying deeply for over 2 hours when I came in contact with it. After releasing all the grief and pain around the event I remember I was also released from the automatic response of always saying yes to any request from a women who was crying. So an obvious conclusion would be; this trauma was locked inside the body / mind / spirit for 460 years causing reactive behavior.

Another event took place about 9000 years ago in northern India where I was a teacher and also had a very nice Indian wife. When my wife died in that lifetime she did not acquire a new body but stayed with me in spiritual form (like a guide) and about 15 years ago I found this event and could finally give her the freedom to go and start a new life herself. This released me from a feeling of always having to look for my spiritual soulmate. So both events were influencing my whole life without me knowing where the influence came from until the moment of release.
So here comes the test. Which lifetime was longer ago (I used a sort of lie detector to see how the answer would read) To my amazement, the life 460 years ago was longer ago then the life of 9000 years ago. Then I tried it with many other examples and all were 50% correct and 50% incorrect. Something was wrong here.
I also researched some other people who could vividly remember their past lifes and what was really interesting is that many would describe a duplicate life, such as being mother Mary. I must have met at least 4 people who were absolutely convinced that they were mother Mary in a past incarnation. Something wrong here as well.
Then I found not only duplicate lifes myself but also double lifes, multiple bodies, multiple beings in the same body and the story became stranger and stranger.

How strange, well if you have the time take a look at a lecture from Dolores Cannon about the convoluted universe:

Also the time between body death and acquiring a new body did not seem to align with a constant truth. I was clearly influenced by what I was reading and who was giving me sessions and what kind of sessions. In the beginning it seemed that in between 2 lifes there was a kind of alien story and forceful implanting being done to force me back into a new body. This was heavily influenced by Scientology. When I entered the spiritual world with teachers like Brandon Bays and other energy work, these in between life stories changed into angels and crystal domains and when I entered India with their rituals and mediations I saw Shiva and other Indian saints helping me in between death and life. Well reading the Tibetan book of the death I can image that I would be seeing Buddhas that would be helping me and if I were going into deep hypnosis with Dolores Cannon I would be visiting friendly aliens among other.

So if past lifes do not exist, where do the memories come from?

Here Access consciousness (techniques and processes to make someone more conscious) undoubtably showed me the answer that most of the mental garbage (such as past life trauma) creating reactive behavior (more then 99%) is not mine at all but from other people, past or present, that I was linked to. By simply asking the question: "who does this belong to" and return it to sender, it unlocked and disappeared.

This also showed me that most of my traumatic past life experiences were actually not mine at all but from my parents and their parents and their parents etc. The event in Florance I found was actually not mine but my great great great great... grandfather and was handed over to me genetically and mentally during my first 9 month in the womb. Another very interesting fact was that releasing the trauma in myself would also release the trauma in many other people such as the rest of my family, meaning there is also a sort of quanum entanglement happening here.

With all this in mind, it became crystal clear to me that there is no such thing as reincarnation. All can be explained by the above. Even the Buddhistic enlightened children of past masters clearly showed me something is wrong. Just take a look at the argument of who is the new Karmapa, Ogyen Trinley Dorje or Trinley Thaye Dorje?

But what about memories in near death experiences and deep general anesthesia when there is no brain activity?

Another really interesting study came from Romanian doctors who noticed odd EEG brain activity in a patient who had lapsed into a coma while under the influence of anti-seizure medication. Researchers at the University de Montreal looked into this and put 26 cats under deep anesthesia (cats have 9 lifes :) and recorded their brain activity in the upper cortical regions and hippocampus (deep inside the brain). In all of the cats, a previously undocumented “ripple event (activity - silense - activity -silence...)” was evident in the hippocampus after EEG read-outs went “flat,” indicating a silenced cortex. The results appeared to replicate what had been seen in the human patient from the Romanian doctors.

As was previously understood, once a brain goes flat line, a person would be considered brain dead and could not have any experiences during that time. But with these new findings from the Montreal team, it seems the brain is not dead at all after flat-line and is still able to produce awareness and experience. Compare this to a blood sample. The blood is not in your body anymore but remains alive for many days. Peter Noble from the University of Washington clearly showed that certain genes in the human body are actually more alive days after body death then when the body was still alive. He also found that stem cells in the body are still alive 17 days after body death.

Another interesting finding is that the pineal gland produces massive amounts of DMT prior to death. Now DMT is a strong hallucinogenic substance also found in ayahuasca (to be more precise, in Psychotria viridis, Psychotria carthagenensis, or Diplopterys cabrerana - The ayahuasca is actually an inhibitor that inhibits the breakdown of DMT by enzymes called deamination.)
DMT can induce a state or feeling that he or she is able to “communicate with other intelligent-life forms" and commune with religious entities, humanoid as well as animal form, and even interact with alien life forms. High doses of DMT produce a hallucinatory state that involves sense of “another intelligence” that people sometimes describe as “super-intelligent”, but “emotionally detached”.

A famous book written by Dr. Eben Alexander (a neurosurgeon) called "proof of heaven" is a great example of this, however he himself tries to proof that his DMT trip was all very real and not at all hallucinatory - showing you how real these experiences seem to a person. Dr. Eben Alexander entered into meningitis-induced coma with no higher brain activity (actually the doctor who treated him said he medically induced the coma, but that is besides the point) and journeyed beyond this world and encountered an angelic being who guided him into the deepest realms of super-physical existence. There he met, and spoke with, the Divine source of the universe itself.

In other words, all of this takes place inside the brain and is produced by the brain!

The tunnel with light that is often seen in near death experiences is another interesting phenomena that is also experienced by fighter pilots when pulling excessive G forces. It seems that when blood flow decreases in the eyes (like when the heart stops beating), a tunnel vision with light at the end of the tunnel appears in the brain.

So if all is just mechanical, you should be able to artificially duplicate consciousness and life ...
Well, it is already done:

Just take a look at google photo:

Or even more fun, help googles neural network by engaging in quick draw:

Here google's deep mind neural network is actually aware of what it sees and not just working with the name of the file. In google photo the Artificial Neural Network (ANN) can find people and things in your photo collection. If you ask to find all the photo's containing a cat, it will do so even if it is just a tail. It actually "sees" and is aware of it. In november 2016 deepmind has put an ANN to work with lipreading and now it is better then any human being at this task.

Take a look at this picture below from Google's deep dream Artificial Neural Network (ANN). It almost seems like Google's deep dream is on a DMT trip yet it is improving each day. In this example below the ANN is given a static white noise image and is asked to look for life forms:

Static white noise

Google's deep dream ANN findings

As you have seen in the movie and information above, an ANN seems to be able to recognise images and perceptions and can even react to them but is it conscious of them? - something that is second nature to us. It seems not.

So what is sentience and what is phenomenological consciousness?

Sentience is the capacity to feel, perceive, or experience subjectively. Phenomenological consciousness refers to you undergoing an experience like when you are consciously perceiving the world or for example feeling sad, thirst, pain etc.

My theory goes as follows - and time will tell if this will become a reality in the newer ANN's.

Awareness is the digital code of all the perceptions received by the brain, be it sound, sight, smell etc. The recording of perceptions by the hippocampus gives rise to the perception time. The idea that someone is aware is thought. Without thinking there is only awareness without anyone being aware.

Now the common mistake is that sentience and phenomenological consciousness implies something is experiencing. In non-duality it shows you that you can never find the experiencer, you can only find experience. It is also logical if you think about it, you always need an observer to observe and the moment when you try to look for the observer you already are it looking for something else. The observer can never be found. All the feelings and ideas of who you are - are experiences and thought, hence is not who you truly are, because it is exterior from you.

So instead of looking for the experiencer and trying to figure out how he experiences - my theory bypasses this and points to the fact that there is no experiencer at all but only experience.
In relationship to an artificial neural network, I split it up in 2 separate codes, one being the input signals from the outside world (perceptions) and the other being the internally created code (thought). The second code (thought) creates the illusion that there is an I perceiving - hence phenomenological consciousness and sentience. Without the second code, there is only awareness without anybody being aware. This has been my findings in meditation as well.

The problem is that this internally created I feels really real and if someone tells you that you are not real but just a brain program - you stumble upon resistance.

This is where self-inquiry comes into play. This simple yet super effective meditation technique shows you that who you think and feel you are is not who you are. Try it yourself and ask the question: "Who am I?" and stay with all the answers and see if they are real and true.

So what about intuition, precognition and gut feelings?

This is the field of quantum neural networks QNN's. It seems the brain is not just a set of wires creating a neural network but also taps into the power of quantum computing. Prof. Matthew Fisher from Santa Barbara is spearheading this research showing you that room temperature calcium phosphates (apatite / TCP) can produce quantum states in the human brain. For further information on what a quantum computer can do please refer to D-wave quantum computing company (a system that google is trying out now as well for it's QNN's).

So what is life and what is the source of awareness?

Life is a set of biological interrelated activities (chemical interactions) that interact to achieve a result, such as survival. This biological process can also be synthesized in a lab such as artificial but living bacteria from Craig Venter's lab, showing that DNA can be booted up (by giving it an electrical shock) just like turning on a computer to start and support life.

Syn 3.0

On March 25, 2016 Venter reported the creation of Syn 3.0, a synthetic genome having the fewest genes of any freely living organism (in other words, the smallest life form on earth, having 473 genes). Their aim was to strip away all nonessential genes, leaving only the minimal set necessary to support life and by doing so finding the key elements in the genes that make life possible. Syn 3.0 is aware of its surrounding and interacts with it which clearly shows you that the most basic biological awareness is yet based on structure, being a set of genes. So genes are the source of awareness.

DNA is basically the software that builds and runs the organism, making it alive and making it survive.

What about life energy?

Life energy and awareness is one and the same thing. Reiki, kundalini, Qigong and all other spiritual energies are a form of this life energy. Life energy in physiology is called an action potential and is a short-lasting event in which the electrical membrane potential of a neuron cell rapidly rises and falls, following a consistent trajectory to provide cell-to-cell communication. A neuron that emits an action potential is often said to "fire" :

Action Potential in a neuron (life energy)

When large numbers of neurons synchronize their "fire", it will give rise to neural oscillations, otherwise called brainwaves. This can be measured using EEG.

Lambda 200 Hz and up Unconditional loving-kindness and compassion - enlightened state.
Gamma 27 Hz and up This is associated with the formation of ideas, language and memory processing, and various types of learning.
Beta 12hz - 27hz This is generally the mental state most people are in during the day and most of their waking lives.
Alpha 8hz - 12hz Awake but relaxed and not processing much information. When you get up in the morning and just before sleep, you are naturally in this state. When you close your eyes your brain automatically starts producing more alpha waves.
Theta 3hz - 8hz Light sleep or extreme relaxation. Theta is also a very receptive mental state that has proven useful for hypnotherapy, as well as self-hypnosis using recorded affirmations and suggestions.
Delta 0.2hz - 3hz Deep, dreamless sleep and the body is healing itself and "resetting" its internal clocks.
Epsilon 0.5hz and below Epsilon waves have been found in extremely deep states of meditation. They are connected with a feeling of complete bliss and compassion. If a meditator reaches the epsilon brain wave state of mind one can experience extreme spiritual and personal insight and inspiration.

Upper Gamma and Epsilon waves seem to be connected and give rise to the highest and strongest healing and spiritual energies in the world. One of the highest and most powerful upper Gamma waves ever detected was on Matthieu Ricard, a french Buddhistic monk known as the most happy man in the world:

Research of consciousness trainer Judith Pennington also revealed some very interesting relationships on reiki masters and their brainwaves:

But brainwaves and life energy is not only isolated to the brain. Research has shown that even plant cells have an action potential and form oscillations. In the human body, once the kundalini has awakened the whole spinal cord and the vagus nerve acts like one big action potential and it is not only the brain that produces awareness anymore but the whole body.

Kundalini image showing the vagus nerve as the 2 snakes (ida and pingala) and the spinal cord as the center pillar and the wings being the awakened brain.

Entering nirvikalpa samadhi, a very deep state of meditation which is similar to general anesthesia or deep sleep, there is no more you, no more time perception, no more space perception, no more perception whatsoever and also no more consciousness nor awareness. In this state there is no choice, cause, control, thinking, recognizing, understanding, being, doing and having. All these belong to the mind. In truth there is only the absolute nothingness out of which existence wakes and sleeps.

This nothingness is called Sat in India. It is the absolute freedom and void of all existence.

Everything that awareness perceives as separate is called Chid in India.

If Chid is being fully experienced by awareness without pushing, pulling, avoiding or wanting, it dissolves and Sat remains. This dissolving creates a beautiful bodily sensation called bliss which is called Ananda in India. This process of dissolving the Chid in Sat is called the kundalini..

So one can say all of reality and beyond into non-duality, nothingness and infinity can be summed up in one word:

- SatChidAnanda -

Nonexistence or Sat equates to freedom and joy. You can say everything takes place inside this freedom as a joyous play of light. However, the moment the brain starts to identify itself with anything inside this freedom, the ego is born and misery starts.

Satsang and self-inquiry are methods to dissolve the ego back into the nonexistence state where it came from and give way for the Sat to enter and flow through the body (called kundalini awakening in India).

Darshan and shaktipath / sivapath are Sat tools to awaken and develop the kundalini and burning the ego and karma on its way. The emptiness you see in the pictures of Buddhists and Hindu saints (the circles around them) is the Sat that remains. The flames indicate the kundalini that is burning the Chid away in a blissful fire.

Shiva (Hinduism)

Labdron (Buddhism)

Tirthankara (Jainism)

Doing self-inquiry or Trekchod and listening or reading satsang lectures are in the end all brain exercises to make itself understand that it does not exist. This creates a state called Self-realization or awakening. Once the state of full awakening has taken place and there is enough emptiness or Sat created inside the body (the kundalini / shushumna channel is wide enough due to all the brain programs being deleted) the realization will arise that nothing awakens at all and everything is pure amazing beauty, call it divine or whatever.
Do not confuse the divine with a being or creator or controller however, as no such thing exists. It is the universe itself with all its beauty, including the so called ugliness. In this state, call it enlightenment or God realization there is only absolute freedom without fear, desire and hope in a play of light called the universe with all its amazing ingredients.

Who or what is God? - well what is the true source of anything? - well, at best you can call it an illusion, just like you.

Once you realize this you see that everything, be it biological or physical has the same nonexistent source as you. If you zoom into anything close enough you end up with this illusion or at best information only. For those scientifically inclined, just look at the latest physics theories on quantum-information (among other from the Dutch physicist Verlinde) that supercedes superstring theory and even general relativity. Here you can see that information is the source of everything, but what is information? - yet another way to describe the illusion, just like you.

So what does this all boil down to?

Well, Life and everything else is simply a miracle - call it divine or whatever - it remains a miracle.

Click on the image below to meet the divine, that which remains if you are no more...

Our satsangs / darshans are in silence, no talking or teachings and are for free. Everyone is welcome to join but understand you will not be joining a group or movement as we belief absolute freedom is an individual path free from dependency and you should use all the tools available but always remain free from them.

We hope we can spread this joy and freedom to anyone we come in contact with...

Arut perum jyoti

Our example

Ramalinga Vallalar

Our teacher

Sri Sri Sri Mahayogini Manikeshwari Matha


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